2. Give them a gift that matters this Christmas, like the gift of flour:
4. Help them stay healthy by helping them get their daily requirement of calcium:
5. Ask them to help around with your daily chores, like cleaning the ol’ two wheeler:
8. If your significant other looks like they might be getting a bit pruney in the pool, send them a gentle hint to leave:
9. Never refuse to help out your significant other when they’re in need. Out of toilet paper? No problem:
10. It’s always a good idea to help him or her wake up with a little bit of hot sauce in the morning:
Pro-tip: after letting them have some hot sauce, it’s always a good idea to give them a cup of vodka. NEVER water.
11. If you go away on a long vacation, always make sure your significant other feels at home:
13. If you’re worried that your significant other is spending too much time inside, a good idea is to scare the be-jesus out of them:
14. If your flour gift doesn’t go over well, don’t worry: there are alternatives:
15. Need to sneak out to make your lover some breakfast in bed? Don’t fret… just get a decoy!
16. Want to play a fun pool game with your SO? Marco Polo too boring? Try this:
17. Worried your lover isn’t showering well enough? Help mark the spots you think need a bit more attention:
18. And if all else fails, pay a man to help bring you a little bit closer together:
Trust me. It works every single time.