Felicity, what were you thinking?!?!?!
1. Everyone who watched Felicity had to weigh in on the MOST IMPORTANT DEBATE OF OUR LIFETIMES: Noel vs. Ben.
2. The answer is obvious: Noel, who is the sensitive, enlightened male of your DREAMS.
3. Noel is the kind of guy who will go with you to a party and hang by you all night, not ditch you to flirt with the Julies of the world.
4. If Ben was the brooding but creepy vampire guy from Twilight, Noel is the one with abs who turns into the wolf.
(I forget which is which and I’m too lazy to look it up.)
5. He used BOGGLE as foreplay.
6. Look at Noel pine. Have you ever seen a sexier pine?
7. He gave the best motivational, “stay in New York or perish” speeches.
8. Noel was a RA, which means you’d get sexy privileges, like he wouldn’t say anything about your (illegal) toaster.
9. He’ll toilet paper the library with you, which is the most adorable prank ever.
10. He’ll do other things in the library, too.
11. He’ll be so blown away at the thought of taking your relationship to the next level that he’ll DROP his brand new iMac.
12. Ben sucks. Look at his stupid sweater and his right knee boner.
13. His hair always does that one stupid thing, like he stuck his face inside a leaf blower.
14. NOEL never had a gambling problem. Noel had an “I’m too adorable to exist on earth” problem.
15. Noel was going to take Felicity to Berlin. Ben’s plan was some stupid road trip, probably in a tan Toyota Camry.
16. Ben is the guy who cheats on you and has a baby with another woman. Oh right, he did that.
17. Noel is the guy you pick when you’re in your late 20s; Ben is the one you think is dreamy at 19 because he makes you feel major anxiety, and you confuse that with love.
18. Ben says things like this, which is probably a rejected Dashboard Confessional lyric.