The AI That Generates Halloween Costumes Is The Singularity

This woman is a certifiable evil genius. Her Halloween costume generating robot may seem like harmless fun, but this machine is going to take away jobs… more importantly, my job as a comedy writer.

If I got an assignment to come up with funny Halloween costumes, I’d probably go with “a hydrant getting whizzed on by a dog” because I’m emotionally bankrupt. This Halloween-o-Matic-5000 has endless stamina and can generate 20 funny costume ideas in the time it takes me to unwrap the chocolate bar I need for “creative fuel.”

In the AI’s infancy (it was still learning) it came up with “Sexy Por Man,” “The Ran Spean Sexy Sexy Pon Sexy Dander,” “The Gull Wot,” “Sexy Purbie Lampire,” and, “Poth Rat.” It’s not even in proper English and yet it makes so much sense. I don’t know what a “Purbie Lampire” is, or how it can be sexy, but it’s funny and I need that costume. “The Gull Wot” is nonsense, but I can somehow picture it being played by Danny DeVito.

And those are just the things it came up with as a baby robot. It adapts. It learns. As a toddler, it created costumes such as, “Farbat of the Cower,” and “Ging Butter.” Still babble, and still funnier than anything I could think of with my inferior meat brain. But as Halloween-o-Matic-5000 learns, its comedy becomes even more sophisticated. The Shark Knight.” Oh sweet mother Mary of Jesus. The robot just punned. “Vampire Big Bird.” “Professor Panda.” “Count Drunk Doll of Princess.” “Skeleton Ginsburg.” “Saxy Pumpkins.”

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Well, there goes my job security and my good night’s sleep. Skeleton Ginsburg. It’s perfection beyond what human comedians are capable of. I may soon be replaced by a robot, forced out of the lucrative comedy business and into an embarrassing job like doctoring, but damnit I’ll still laugh at their jokes. “Bearley Quinn?” Yep, that’s it. We’re done. It’s the singularity.

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