I was walking down the street the other day when I passed a 5-year-old who said,Spring is when you fall in love! But all the cute boys aren’t smart.
She was walking hand-in-hand with her mother, who stared at her with aBURNINGlook of judgment on her face. The thing is, that little girl was right as anyone I’ve ever known. And though her mama didn’t want to admit it, she totally knew it, too.
Since this past January, I’ve been dealing with three different kinds of dumb men. It’s a shame that these men have beenso uneducated about the things that matter and either too lazy or unwilling to educate themselves more. They were beautiful and charming as all hell. But so dumb.
Last week, I went on a date with a bartender. This boy was cute in a nerdy, “Game of Thrones” kind of way, and he was a great kisser — I’m talking top five kisses I’ve ever had — but we didn’t have a thing to talk about. Aside from our affinity for cocktails, the only thing we had in common was each other.
Also, he was dumb AF. His lack of ability to keep up with me confirmed for me that there’d be no second date. (He didn’t have any hobbies! You cannot trust a man who doesn’t have hobbies.)
Before Peter-the-bartender*, there was Garrett-the-finance-guy*. Garrett was stupidly hot — in anex-college football player kind of way. But he, too, was dumb. I met him in a bar, and we really hit it off at first. Our tipsy banter was enough to fuel plans for two more dates, but I’d always show him up.
“I write about dating because it’s abstract, but it’s so interesting,” I said over Thai food.
“Right,” he said. “Abstract…”
He looked at me with curious, innocent eyes. It was how my nephewlooks at my sister when he wants more food but doesn’t know how to get it.
And before Garrett-the-finance-guy, there was Colin-the-Irishman*. He wasn’t the dumbest person I’ve ever met, but he was very obviously on a different level than I was. I couldn’t talk to him about my work, because it was over his head. He found it difficult to be ~deep~.
The guy was great with logistical stuff, but I’m not a logistical kind of gal. His emotional intelligence was lacking.But I felt an incredible draw towards him, his crude jokes and his bedroom prowess. We had the same lightheartedness ability to laugh things off.Oh, and his accent. Mmm, did it make him tasty.
I’d never thought about why I’m pretty much only attracted to dumb men.One of my readers suggested the world is simply too feebleminded for single, smart, sassy Sheena. I won’t lie to you; I nodded along because that’s what I wanted to hear. It confirmed the thoughts I’ve had about the world and all the pigheaded men in itall along.
But then, another one of my readers postulated amore plausibletheory for why I date down: