First Guy (proudly): My wife’s an angel!’ Second Guy: You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.
- After suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, “F___ it, let me soldier on!”
- I don’t get it, no one complains when Madonna and Angelina Jolie steal black kids from Africa.
- Angelina Jolie needs to take some time off her busy schedule of feeding the hungry and poor in third world countries and feed herself for a change.
- Can you honor Maya Angelou by not pretending that you knew much about her?
- The U.S. is scheduled to play Germany soon at the World Cup. President Obama and German Chancellor Angela Merkel already have a bet going. The loser keeps Hasselhoff.
- Justin Bieber will be charged in Los Angeles about an egg-throwing incident in January which damaged a neighbour’s home. The judge said it was the most pointless use of an egg since the fertilization of Justin Bieber.
- A pine tree planted in 2004 in memory of former Beatle George Harrison in a Los Angeles park has died after being infested by beetles.
- I read in the news today that a man in Los Angeles was killed when he got caught up in a turf war. I wonder if he was mowed down?
- Be careful who you trust, the devil was once an angel.
- What has 2 wings and a halo? Did you say angel? WRONG! Its a chinese phone. *Wing Wing* “Halo?”
- Boys, if you don’t look like Calvin Klein models, don’t expect us to look like Victoria’s Secret Angels.
- Crap….all this time I thought I was listening to the Angel on my shoulder. Turns out the Devil on the other shoulder is just a hell of a ventriloquist.
