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Belt Jokes

  • A pirate walks into a bar with a ship’s wheel on his belt buckle.
    Bartender: What’s that on your belt?
    Pirate: Arrr, It’s drivin’ me nuts!


  • No matter how many times I try to buy those supermarket conveyor belt dividers, the cashier keeps putting them back!

  • What gets longer when it’s pulled…Fits between breasts…Inserts neatly into a hole…And works best when jerked?A seat belt!

  • What will the 10th movie in the Fast and Furious franchise be called?Fast10.Your seat belts.

  • Just spent $100 on a belt that doesn’t fit!Huge waist.

  • I spent $80 on a belt that didn’t fit.My wife said it was a huge waist.

  • What do you call a belt made of $100 bills?A waist of money.

  • Did you hear about the scientist whose pants kept falling down?He won the no belt prize.

  • I don’t like Orion’s Belt.It’s a huge waist of space

  • What do you call a belt made of watches?A waist of time.

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