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Blonde Jokes

  • My blonde wife said the other month that she wanted to start trying for a baby.

    “Hmmm I’m not sure,” I said.

    “Oh ok. What about if we made a compromise? When it comes to making the baby, you can choose what position we do it in,” she said.

    “Ok then. Anal!”

    We’re still trying!


  • A 60 year old millionaire is getting married. His friends are jealous & one of them ask how he landed such a hot 23 year old blonde beauty.“Simple”, grins the millionaire. “I faked my age.” His friends are really amazed & ask him what age he told her?“Well, I said I was 87!”

  • My son said, “Dad, when was the first time you fell in love?” I said, “I was 18. I walked into a bar and saw the most gorgeous blonde I’d ever seen. Cupid fired his arrow the second I saw her.” He said, “What happened?” I said, “The arrow missed and hit your fucking mother!”

  • As I knelt down in the shoe shop with a pair of shoes in front of this sexy blonde, I couldn’t resist a quick glance up her short skirt.“Hey cheeky!” she said. “I bet the only reason you work here is to look up girls skirts isn’t it?”“That’s ridiculous. I don’t work here!”

  • Just seen this on Tinder…‘Blonde, 33 from London Great Personality 5ft 3 Green Eyes’No wonder she’s single. I mean, 3 green eyes!

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