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Chicken Jokes

  • What do you call a hen looking at a lettuce?

    Chicken Ceaser Salad


  • How to Mexicans keep warm? They use chicken fajitas.

  • What do you call a hen looking at a lettuce?Chicken Ceaser Salad

  • How to Mexicans keep warm? They use chicken fajitas.

  • What did the chicken say about the scrambled egg? There goes my crazy, mixed up kid.

  • What did the Mexican say to his chicken?Oh-lay!

  • I ate some rotten chicken last night. Now I feel fowl.

  • Why did the chicken not bother crossing the road?Because there was only a doctors and a petrol station on the other side!

  • What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of lettuce?Chicken sees a salad!

  • Last night I was sprawled out on the sofa watching TV when my wife called from the kitchen, “What would you like for dinner my love? Chicken, beef or lamb?”I said, “I’ll have chicken please.”She replied, “You’re having soup you fat bastard. I was talking to the cat!”

  • Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?” Student: “Meat!” Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?” Student: “Bacon!” Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?” Student: “Homework!”

  • At a takeaway last night I ordered a Spicy Chicken 12″ pizza.The guy said, “Do you want it cut into 10 pieces?”I said, “No, 4 pieces will do. I’ll never eat 10!”

  • I asked my doctor if the spots on my chest were measles or chicken pox…He said he never makes rash decisions!

  • As for Boris Johnson urging people to use ‘common sense’ from now on, this is a country containing people who phoned 999 when KFC ran out of chicken!

  • A chicken and an egg walk into a bar.The barman says, “Who’s first?”

  • What trainers do chickens wear?Reebok-bok-bok-bukha!

  • It was so hot yesterday I saw a chicken lay an omelette!

  • I’m watching the #LondonMarathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg…This could be interesting!

  • “I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.

  • I grilled a chicken for two hours.It still wouldn’t tell me why it crossed the road…

  • I’ve recently started a dating app for chickens. It’s not my normal day job, …it’s just to make hens meet.

  • What do you call a ghost chicken?A poultry-geist.

  • Did you hear about the mute chicken?It didn’t give a cluck. (Sorry about the fowl language).

  • I used to run a dating site for chickens.But I had to shut it down because I was having trouble making hens meet.

  • Okay, I love Chinese food as much as the next guyBut you’ll never convince me that a chicken fried the rice.

  • What do you call a haunted chicken?A poultry-geist.

  • What do you get if you cross a chicken with a fox?A fox.

  • A turkey is about to cross the road.When suddenly the chicken appears and says, Don’t do it man, you’ll never hear the end of it!

  • What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of lettuce?Chicken sees a salad.

  • I had a hen who could count her own eggs.She’s a mathmachicken.

  • I’ve started a dating app for chickens.It’s not my main job though, just to makes hens meet.

  • I once had a hen that could count her own eggs.She was a mathemachicken.

  • Who Is the Greatest Chicken-killer in Shakespeare?Macbeth because he did murder most foul!

  • I had a hen who could count her own eggs.She’s a mathmachicken.

  • I’ve started investing in stocks….first chicken, then beef, now vegetable.Despite the potential risks I believe one day I’ll be a boullionaire.

  • I started a dating website for chickens.It’s not my regular day job… I just do it to help make hens meet.

  • I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.I’ll let you know.

  • What do you get if you cross a chicken with a fox?A fox.

  • When ordering food at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how they prepare their chicken.Nothing special, he explained. We just tell them they’re going to die.

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