Church Jokes

  • I’d go to church if they had Wi-Fi.

  • Shout out to all the people in church today, who didn’t speak to anyone, cause their breath still smelled like Jack Daniels.

  • The elderly wife in church turned to her husband and said, “I’ve just done a silent fart. What should I do?”He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.

  • Why do melons always get married in church ?Because they cantaloupe.

  • I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!She is watching our wedding video again.

  • An elderly couple is in church. The wife says to the husband, “I’ve let out one of those silent farts, what do I do?”The husband says, “Change the battery in your hearing aid.”

  • Can you believe I was thrown out of my church for claiming Jesus spoke with a lisp?It was a real slap in the faith.

  • What do priests say to get rid of insects in the church?Let us spray.

  • Why do they say amen instead of a woman at the end of songs at church?‘Cause they’re hymns not hers.

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