I’d go to church if they had Wi-Fi.
- Shout out to all the people in church today, who didn’t speak to anyone, cause their breath still smelled like Jack Daniels.
- The elderly wife in church turned to her husband and said, “I’ve just done a silent fart. What should I do?”He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.
- Why do melons always get married in church ?Because they cantaloupe.
- I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!She is watching our wedding video again.
- An elderly couple is in church. The wife says to the husband, “I’ve let out one of those silent farts, what do I do?”The husband says, “Change the battery in your hearing aid.”
- Can you believe I was thrown out of my church for claiming Jesus spoke with a lisp?It was a real slap in the faith.
- What do priests say to get rid of insects in the church?Let us spray.
- Why do they say amen instead of a woman at the end of songs at church?‘Cause they’re hymns not hers.