I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed four grave diggers walking about with a coffin, three hours later and they’re still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they’ve lost the plot!
- The inventor of throat lozenges has died. There’ll be no coffin at his funeral.
- I invented a Glass Coffin, but I don’t know if it will catch on. Remains to be seen.
- I opened my front door this morning to find a large black coffin. I gave him a pack of Lockets and told him to fuck off.
- Just before I die, I’m going to change my name to OFF’. That way, when the hearse is driving to the church, it will have displayed on top of my coffin in flowers: R.I.P. OFF
- A condom and a coffin. Both are designed for stiffs. The difference is one is for coming and the other for going
- When the inventor of the USB stick dies they’ll gently lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again.
- A man tried to sell me a coffin today… I told him that’s the last thing I need.
- My friend offered to buy me a coffin, but I told him that’s the last thing I’ll need.
- Remains to be seen if glass coffins become popular.
- A man tried to sell me a coffin today… I told him that’s the last thing I need.
- The man who invented Tupperware has sadly passed away… The funeral was delayed by an hour because they couldn’t find the correct sized lid for his coffin!
- Someone tried to sell me a coffin today…I said that’s the last thing I need!
- Someone tried to sell me a coffin today.I said that’s the last thing I need.
- (At my boss’s funeral kneeling and whispering at coffin):Who’s thinking outside the box now Gary?
- Someone tried to sell me a coffin today.I said that’s the last thing I need.
- A guy tried to sell me a coffin.I told him that’s the last thing I need.
- A guy tried to sell me a coffin today.I told him that’s the last thing I need.
- The man who invented throat lozenges died last week.There was no coffin at the funeral.
- My friend drowned, so for his funeral we put a life preserver on his coffin.It’s what he would have wanted.
