Cucumber Jokes

  • A man with a cucumber in his ear, a carrot in his nose, and a tomato in his eye walks into the doctor’s office. He says, “Doc, I’m not feeling well. What’s wrong with me?”The doctor says, “First of all, you’re not eating right….”

  • Does anybody else find that cucumber makes you fart a lot, or am I shoving it up too far?

  • Occasionally, I like to go to Walmart, buy a jar of Vaseline, a cucumber and a Bottle of Gin and wink at the cashier

  • When everyone was giving apples to their teachers, I was the one giving cucumbers… Still to this day, Mr. Smith won’t look me in the eyes.

  • here is no straight way to wash a cucumber.

  • The human body is 80% water, so we are basically just cucumbers with anxiety.

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