Dating Jokes

  • I joined a Ukranian dating site and now I’ve got a chick in Kiev!

  • I’ll never join one of those online dating services. I prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way…Through alcohol and poor judgement!

  • I remember when I first started dating my wife, I got a hard-on just watching her eating a banana…Now after ten years of marriage, I only get aroused if she starts choking on it!

  • I went Speed Dating once.“Have you got any pets?” one girl asked.“Yeah, a goldfish.”“Any hobbies?” she said.“Yes. He loves swimming!”

  • I’m a fisherman, and I’m dating a mermaid.I met her online.

  • Which Disney princess spends most of her day on dating apps?Tinderella.

  • I’ve recently started a dating app for chickens. It’s not my normal day job, …it’s just to make hens meet.

  • My wife asked me, Why don’t you treat me like you did when we were first dating!? So I took her to dinner and a movie…Then dropped her off at her parents’ house.

  • My brother is dating a girl called Rosemary…I don’t know what he season her.

  • I used to run a dating site for chickens.But I had to shut it down because I was having trouble making hens meet.

  • Why do archaeologists get all the girls?Because they have the best dating techniques.

  • What dating app do lumberjacks use?Timber.

  • I’ve started a dating app for chickens.It’s not my main job though, just to makes hens meet.

  • I joined a dating site for arsonists.I’ve been getting a lot of matches.

  • I’ve just joined a dating site for arsonists.I’ve been sent a lot of matches.

  • I started a dating website for chickens.It’s not my regular day job… I just do it to help make hens meet.

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