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Dwarf Jokes

  • My dwarf girlfriend has been a bit down recently because people keep remarking on her size…

    So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I’ve got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I’m going to run her a nice hot sink!


  • I saw my dwarf neighbour at a bus stop.“Jump in, I’ll give you a lift home” I said.“Fuck off” he shouted back.“What an ungrateful little shit,” I thought, as I zipped my rucksack and continued my walk.

  • I saw my dwarf neighbour at a bus stop.“Jump in, I’ll give you a lift home,” I said.“Fuck off,” he shouted back.“What an ungrateful little shit,” I thought, as I zipped my rucksack and continued my walk.

  • This morning on the way to work I wasn’t really paying attention and I drove into the back of a car at some traffic lights.The driver got out and it turned out he was a dwarf.He said, “I’m not happy.”I said, “Well, which one are you then?”

  • I’m not very good at dwarf impressions…Still, hey ho!

  • The older I get the more I’m becoming all of the seven dwarfs!

  • Four members of a midget gymnast team have just pulled off an audacious bank robbery in Frankfurt.They used a trampoline to jump through a window left open by an accomplice, and then escaped in an Audi…It was, as they say in Germany, the ‘Four Sprung Dwarf Technique!’

  • “What’s the Wifi password?”“snowwhiteandthesevendwarfs”“Why is the password so long?”“It said it requires 8 characters!”

  • This morning on the way to work I wasn’t really paying attention and I drove into the back of a car at some traffic lights.The driver got out and it turned out he was a dwarf.He said, I’m not happy.I said, Well, which one are you then?

  • My dad told me to make little things count?So now I’m teaching maths to dwarfs.

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