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Fly Jokes

  • Why does Peter pan always fly? Because he neverlands!


  • I’ve opened up a shop selling uncaged birds…They are flying off the shelves!

  • What is the difference between a politician and a flying pig?The letter f

  • They are finally making ‘Fly Fishing by J.R. Hartley’ into a movie…The cast is brilliant!

  • 400 private jets are flying in to COP26 to lecture us about why we shouldn’t fly easyJet to Tenerife once a year…This is like Jimmy Savile criticising our babysitting!

  • Want a free ride in a helicopter? Flight for 4 people? I’m looking for 2 more to join me. We leave on Monday & fly to Monaco where we will have breakfast and then lunch on a yacht. If interested please PM me. Preferably someone with a helicopter and yacht, otherwise we can’t go!

  • A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked the assistant, “Is this good for wasps?”The assistant replied, “No. It kills them!”

  • It’s that windy outside, I’ve just seen an umbrella fly past my window…RIP Mary Poppins!#StormEunice

  • My mate bet me £100 that I couldn’t do a butterfly impression…I thought, ‘That has got to be worth a little flutter!’

  • Did you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel glad that you’re alive?I just did, and I’ve been told I’ll never be able to fly with Jet2 again!

  • A male fly notices a rather attractive female fly lounging on a pile of cow manure.The male fly swoops down next to her and says, “Excuse me love but is this stool taken?”

  • Just thought I’d let you know, I passed my paintball exam, with flying colours!

  • A woman walks into the kitchen to find her fella with a fly swatter. “What are you doing?” she asked.“Hunting flies”, he said. “Killed any?” she asks. “Yep 3 males & 2 females.”Intrigued she says, “How can you tell them apart?”“3 were on a beer can & 2 were on the phone!”

  • I’m making a new documentary on how to fly a plane…We’re currently filming the pilot!

  • Just written a new book about poltergeists…It’s flying off the shelves!

  • What insect has high cholesterolA butterfly

  • I’m making a new documentary series on how to fly an airplane.We are currently filming the pilot.

  • What do you call a sexy flying monkey.A hot air baboon.

  • What do you call a fly with no wings?A walk.

  • What is the difference between a politician and a flying pig?The letter f.

  • What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?Live stream.

  • Why do seagulls fly over the sea?Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!

  • A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked the assistant, Is this good for wasps?No, it kills them.

  • Bros don’t let other bros walk around with an open fly.It’s called the zip code.

  • I’m making a new documentary on how to fly a plane.We’re currently filming the pilot.

  • A witch was flying on her broom when she noticed that all the witches she passed were flying on vacuum cleaners.She thought to herself, Am I the only one who still drives a stick?

  • A witch was flying her broom along when she noticed that all the other witches were flying on vacuum cleaners.She thought Am I the only one still driving a stick?

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