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Glue Jokes

  • The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.


  • My friend is still angry at me for putting super glue on his dog. He just can’t let it go.

  • I’m reading a book on the history of glue – can’t put it down.

  • Someone has glued my pack of cards together…I don’t know how to deal with it!

  • I gave my wife a gluestick instead of lipstick by accident…She’s still not talking to me!

  • I get so excited over women I have to glue my dick to my leg otherwise it stands up every time I see one…The other day I went on a date, put extra glue on it, knocked on her front door, she opened it wearing the shortest skirt I have ever seen, and I kicked her in the face!

  • I accused my wife of putting glue on my pistol collection…She denies it but I’m sticking to my guns!

  • I met my wife at the glue factory… We bonded immediately!

  • Someone has glued my pack of cards together…I don’t know how to deal with it.

  • How do you fix a broken tuba ?With a tuba glue.

  • I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection…She denies it but I’m sticking to my guns!

  • One thing I can’t deal with....is a deck of cards glued together.

  • I gave my wife a glue stick instead of lipstick by accident.She’s still not talking to me.

  • Just bought a book called 101 Ways to Get Glue Off Your HandsIt’s dreadful, but I can’t put it down!

  • I need help. Someone glued my deck of cards together.I don’t know how to deal with it.

  • My friend claims that he accidentally glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.

  • I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of her lipstick.She still isn’t talking to me.

  • I accused my wife of putting glue on my pistol collection.She denies it but I’m sticking to my guns.

  • Some idiot glued every card in my deck together so now it’s just a block of cardboard.I’m having trouble dealing with it.

  • What’s the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tub of glue?You can’t tuna fish, but you can tuna piano.

  • I gave my wife a glue stick instead of lipstick by accident.She’s still not talking to me.

  • What’s the difference between a bench, a fish, and a bucket of glue?You can’t tune a bench but you can tuna fish.I bet you got stuck on the bucket of glue part.

  • I met my wife at the glue factory where we both worked.We bonded immediately.

  • I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of her lipstick.She still isn’t talking to me.

  • One thing I can’t deal with..is a deck of cards glued together.

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