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Guitar Jokes

  • My friends started a new bar band… Drums, guitars, keyboard and bass guitar. They call themselves 999 Megabytes cuz they don’t have a Gig yet.


  • I took a photo of the thing I use to play my guitar. It was a lovely pic.

  • Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor.

  • Piracy is killing the music industry. You try playing the guitar with a hook.

  • I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar and accidentally wrote a One Direction song.

  • I don’t play guitar, but I sure would pluck your G-string.

  • I broke my guitar string last night. Don’t fret, I had another.

  • I’ll be sharing my secret for being an amazing guitar player later today…Stay tuned!

  • When I was a kid, I wanted to play the guitar really badly. .. And after years of hard work, practice and dedication, I can now play the guitar really badly!

  • I sold my guitar to a bloke with no arms recently. I asked him how it was going to work, he replied, ‘I’m going to play it by ear!”

  • Want to know how to improve your guitar playing skills?Stay tuned!

  • When I was a kid, I wanted to play the guitar really badly.And after years of hard work, practice and dedication, I can now play the guitar really badly.

  • What does a guitar and a fish have in common?You can tuna fish.

  • I’ll be sharing my secret for being an amazing guitar player later today.Stay tuned.

  • Did you hear about the woman who beat her husband to death with his guitar collection?At her arraignment the judge asked First offender?She replied No, first a Gibson, and then a Fender.

  • When I was a kid, I wanted to play the guitar really badly.And after years of hard work, practice and dedication, I can now play the guitar really badly.

  • I always keep my guitar in the car now.It’s good for traffic jams.

  • When I was a kid, I wanted to play the guitar really badly.And after years of hard work, practice and dedication, I can now play the guitar really badly.

  • No matter where I go, I like to bring my ukulele, then, whenever someone asks if I play an instrument, I say…I play a little guitar!

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