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Hamburger Jokes

  • Today I made a Burger from scratch…

    My daughter won’t eat any though. She loved that cat!


  • A vegetarian looked at my burger and said, “You know, a cow died so you could have that burger.”Mid-bite, I looked at his salad and responded, “Maybe it died because you keep eating all its food!”

  • A bloke walked up to the counter and said, “Burger and fries please.”“Certainly sir,” I said. “Eating in or take out?”“Fuck off you prick!” he said as he walked off with his food…I love working in the prison canteen!

  • If you don’t get the A-Level grades you need today, don’t worry…Just remember that I like fries with my burger!

  • If you don’t get the GCSE grades you need today, don’t worry…Just remember that I like fries with my burger!

  • McDonalds are now incorporating meat from endangered species into their burgers…Just had a quarter panda!

  • How does a hamburger introduce his wife?Meat patty.

  • I said to the customer, So you’d like a cheeseburger? Yes, He said. Well done.Thank you, I said.

  • How does a hamburger introduce his girlfriend?Meet Patty.

  • How did the hamburger introduce his girlfriend ?Meat patty.

  • My wife and I were stuck in traffic for a long time. Frustrated, I looked at her and said, I’m turning round.She replied: I know, so stop eating so many burgers.

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