I tried to share a kebab with a homeless guy I saw sitting on a bench last night. He told me to f*ck off and buy my own.
- I couldn’t get a taxi home last night so I went in the kebab shop and ordered a delivery to my address and got in with the driver!
- Had a salad for my dinner tonight. It did come with a doner kebab but, you know, baby steps!
- My wife said angrily, “You only ever want sex when you’re drunk.”“That’s not true,” I replied. “Sometimes I want a kebab!”
- I couldn’t get a taxi home last night so I went to a pizza shop and ordered a delivery to my address and got in with the delivery driver!£13.50 for pizza, kebab and a taxi home. I’m a genius!