Topics

Letter Jokes

  • To all you letters that want to be before P in the alphabet, join the Q.


  • I hate spelling errors so much. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined

  • What word becomes shorter when you add two letters? Short.

  • I’ve quit my new job as a postman. They handed me my first letter to deliver, I looked at it and thought: “This isn’t for me.”

  • Fifty Children’s Books Now At Your Local Library 1-10 You are Different and That’s Bad Take a Walk Down the Railroad Tracks with Me Dad’s New Wife Greg’ Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An “I-Can-Do-It” Book: A Children’s Guide to Hitchhiking Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving … Read more…

  • I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.

  • I’ve got loads of jokes about undelivered letters. But people just don’t get them.

  • My wife found out I was cheating after she found the letters I was hiding…. She got mad and said she’s never playing Scrabble with me again.

  • Teacher : What’s your favourite letter ? Student: The letter G. Teacher : Why is that Angus ?

  • “There are only 2 four letter words that are offensive to me – Don’t and Stop…..unless they are used together…”

  • What a shock! Got a letter in the mail that read “If you ever want to see you’re wife alive again, leave $100,000 in unmarked bills in the trash can on Darby Street”. Seriously, does no one know the difference between your’ and you’re’ anymore?

  • I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed.

  • I have CDO. It’s like OCD, except that the letters are in alphabetical order. Like they’re supposed to be.

  • My wife said to me, “Isn’t it odd how on our keyboard the letters ORPN have been worn out?”

  • Just got college letters from the marines, navy, army and coast guard. Well obviously somebody has been watching me play Call Of Duty…

  • I’ll never understand why the guy that invented Braille didn’t just put the dots in shape of the actual letters.

  • I woke up last Friday to find a letter from West Africa in my e-mail. Saturday morning, there was one from Nigeria and today, there was one from Jamacia. I have the feeling I am being black mailed….

  • It’s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I’d of sent a bloody letter

  • How am I supposed to make great life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next?

  • Sorry, but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, a feather off a hawk and the blood of a unicorn.

  • Hello mother. Hello father. Here I am at Camp Marijuana. Crack is good, but weed is better, I’m so f*cked up, a friend wrote this letter.

  • Im really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet… I don’t know y.

  • I found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters. It’s shift work.

  • I’ve quit my new job as a postman. They handed me my first letter to deliver, I looked at it and thought: “This isn’t for me.”

  • What is the difference between a politician and a flying pig?The letter f

  • I was sacked by Kleenex for leaving the letter T off the packaging…They said I’d created a load of issues for them!

  • Someone told me when you turn 100 you get a letter from the Queen and when you turn 13 you get a text from Prince Andrew!

  • I got thousands of letters delivered to my house today…That’s the last time I order a dictionary from Ikea!

  • My wife found out I was cheating after she found all the letters I had hidden…She went crazy and said she won’t play Scrabble with me again!

  • What word starts with E and ends with E, but only has one letter in it?Envelope

  • Mother in lawRearrange the lettersWoman hitler

  • My new book of innuendos is out now…I’m happy to give you one or you can order them online and the postman will slide one into your letterbox!

  • Intelligence Test:How do you say: “Robert’s terrier has run away” without using the letter “R”?“Bob’s dog’s fucked off!”

  • The letter ‘O’ is essential in theory but not in practice!

  • I was doing a crossword in the pub and said to my Scottish mate, “I’m stuck on one, trapped on a desert island, eight letters, starting with M.”He said, “Marooned.”I said, “Thanks, I’ll have a pint of lager then!”

  • A teacher asks her class what their favourite letter is.A student puts up his hand and says, “G”.The teacher says, “Why is that, Angus?”

  • I was struggling on a crossword. 5 across, 6 letters: ‘Someone who has not had sexual intercourse yet’_ I _ G _ _Oh hang, just got it….GINGER

  • I haven’t kept up my subscription to Scrabble Club…Now they’ve started sending me threatening letters!

  • What word becomes shorter if you add two letters?Short

  • What’s the difference between a bad joke and a dad joke?The first letter!

  • Im fitting a new letterbox today. Hope all goes well…I will keep you posted!

  • In the word laughter, the L comes first…All the other letters comes aughter it!

  • I haven’t kept up my subscription to the Scrabble Club…Now they’ve started sending me threatening letters!

  • When our lass told me there’d be no more Neighbours after last night, I thought she meant the couple next door were moving…I wish she had made it clear that she meant the fucking television programme before I admitted to shoving dog shit through their letterbox!

  • What happens when you rearrange two of the letters in the word ‘nuclear’?It’s unclear!

  • As you will no longer receive a letter from the Queen when you turn 100, it has been confirmed you’ll receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 13!

  • I’ve quit my new job as a postman. They handed me my first letter to deliver, I looked at it and thought, ‘This isn’t for me!’

  • My mate asked me to help him with his crossword earlier as he was struggling with 4 across…“What’s the clue?” I asked. “Overworked postman” he said. “How many letters?” “Thousands!”

  • I asked my wife, I’m stuck on a crossword clue—Overworked Postman— can you help me?She said, Sure. How many letters?I said, I’m guessing—too many.

  • I quit my job as a mailman when they handed me my first letter to deliver.I looked at it and thought, ‘This isn’t for me.

  • One of my daughters wants to marry the mailman…But I won’t letter!

  • What font do they use for the letter noodles in Alphabet Soup?Times New Ramen.

  • I only know 25 letters of the alphabetI don’t know y

  • My therapist told me to write letters to everyone who’s hurt me then burn them.I’ve done that. Now what do I do with the letters?

  • What’s the longest word in the English language?Smiles. The first and last letters are a mile apart.

  • Which sport has four letters and starts with T?Golf.

  • What is the difference between a politician and a flying pig?The letter f.

  • What is the longest word in the english language?Smiles. The first and the last letter are a mile apart.

  • What is the dumbest letter in the alphabet?U.

  • if you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN.They get really upset.

  • What word starts with E and ends with E, but only has one letter in it?Envelope!

  • I came up with a joke where you remove the letters C and H.But I forgot the pun line.

  • I applied for a job to be a spy.They wanted my resume and undercover letter.

  • My wife found out I was cheating after she found the letters I was hiding.She got mad and said she is never playing Scrabble with me again!

  • What has 3 letters and starts with gas?A car.

  • What word starts with E and ends with E but only has one letter in it.Envelope.

  • What word starts with E and ends with E but only has one letter in it?Envelope.

  • I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.

  • What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?Short.

  • What word becomes shorter if you add two letters?Short.

  • What’s the difference between a bad joke and a dad joke?The first letter.

  • people ask me why i only type dad jokes using lower case letters.i stopped giving a shift a long time ago.

  • I am the worst speller.You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.

  • What happens when you rearrange two of the letters in the word nuclear?It’s unclear.

  • I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.I don’t know y.

  • My girlfriend is furious with me because she found a bunch of hidden letters that revealed I was cheating on her.Now she refuses to play Scrabble at all.

  • What word starts with E and ends with E but only has one letter in it?Envelope.

  • I quit my job as a mailman when they handed me my first letter to deliver.I looked at it and thought, This isn’t for me

  • What’s a three letter word that starts with gas?Car.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *