Letter Jokes

I hate spelling errors so much. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined

What word becomes shorter when you add two letters? Short.

I’ve quit my new job as a postman. They handed me my first letter to deliver, I looked at it and thought: “This isn’t for me.”

Fifty Children’s Books Now At Your Local Library 1-10 You are Different and That’s Bad Take a Walk Down the Railroad Tracks with Me Dad’s New Wife Greg’ Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An “I-Can-Do-It” Book: A Children’s Guide to Hitchhiking Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving … Read more…

I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.

I’ve got loads of jokes about undelivered letters. But people just don’t get them.

My wife found out I was cheating after she found the letters I was hiding…. She got mad and said she’s never playing Scrabble with me again.

Teacher : What’s your favourite letter ? Student: The letter G. Teacher : Why is that Angus ?

“There are only 2 four letter words that are offensive to me – Don’t and Stop…..unless they are used together…”

What a shock! Got a letter in the mail that read “If you ever want to see you’re wife alive again, leave $100,000 in unmarked bills in the trash can on Darby Street”. Seriously, does no one know the difference between your’ and you’re’ anymore?

I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed.

I have CDO. It’s like OCD, except that the letters are in alphabetical order. Like they’re supposed to be.

My wife said to me, “Isn’t it odd how on our keyboard the letters ORPN have been worn out?”

Just got college letters from the marines, navy, army and coast guard. Well obviously somebody has been watching me play Call Of Duty…

I’ll never understand why the guy that invented Braille didn’t just put the dots in shape of the actual letters.

I woke up last Friday to find a letter from West Africa in my e-mail. Saturday morning, there was one from Nigeria and today, there was one from Jamacia. I have the feeling I am being black mailed….

It’s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I’d of sent a bloody letter

How am I supposed to make great life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next?

Sorry, but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, a feather off a hawk and the blood of a unicorn.

Hello mother. Hello father. Here I am at Camp Marijuana. Crack is good, but weed is better, I’m so f*cked up, a friend wrote this letter.

Im really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet… I don’t know y.

I found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters. It’s shift work.

I’ve quit my new job as a postman. They handed me my first letter to deliver, I looked at it and thought: “This isn’t for me.”

What is the difference between a politician and a flying pig?The letter f

I was sacked by Kleenex for leaving the letter T off the packaging…They said I’d created a load of issues for them!

Someone told me when you turn 100 you get a letter from the Queen and when you turn 13 you get a text from Prince Andrew!

I got thousands of letters delivered to my house today…That’s the last time I order a dictionary from Ikea!

My wife found out I was cheating after she found all the letters I had hidden…She went crazy and said she won’t play Scrabble with me again!

What word starts with E and ends with E, but only has one letter in it?Envelope

Mother in lawRearrange the lettersWoman hitler

My new book of innuendos is out now…I’m happy to give you one or you can order them online and the postman will slide one into your letterbox!

Intelligence Test:How do you say: “Robert’s terrier has run away” without using the letter “R”?“Bob’s dog’s fucked off!”

The letter ‘O’ is essential in theory but not in practice!

I was doing a crossword in the pub and said to my Scottish mate, “I’m stuck on one, trapped on a desert island, eight letters, starting with M.”He said, “Marooned.”I said, “Thanks, I’ll have a pint of lager then!”

A teacher asks her class what their favourite letter is.A student puts up his hand and says, “G”.The teacher says, “Why is that, Angus?”

I was struggling on a crossword. 5 across, 6 letters: ‘Someone who has not had sexual intercourse yet’_ I _ G _ _Oh hang, just got it….GINGER

I haven’t kept up my subscription to Scrabble Club…Now they’ve started sending me threatening letters!

What word becomes shorter if you add two letters?Short

What’s the difference between a bad joke and a dad joke?The first letter!

Im fitting a new letterbox today. Hope all goes well…I will keep you posted!

In the word laughter, the L comes first…All the other letters comes aughter it!

I haven’t kept up my subscription to the Scrabble Club…Now they’ve started sending me threatening letters!

When our lass told me there’d be no more Neighbours after last night, I thought she meant the couple next door were moving…I wish she had made it clear that she meant the fucking television programme before I admitted to shoving dog shit through their letterbox!

What happens when you rearrange two of the letters in the word ‘nuclear’?It’s unclear!

As you will no longer receive a letter from the Queen when you turn 100, it has been confirmed you’ll receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 13!

I’ve quit my new job as a postman. They handed me my first letter to deliver, I looked at it and thought, ‘This isn’t for me!’

My mate asked me to help him with his crossword earlier as he was struggling with 4 across…“What’s the clue?” I asked. “Overworked postman” he said. “How many letters?” “Thousands!”

I asked my wife, I’m stuck on a crossword clue—Overworked Postman— can you help me?She said, Sure. How many letters?I said, I’m guessing—too many.

I quit my job as a mailman when they handed me my first letter to deliver.I looked at it and thought, ‘This isn’t for me.

One of my daughters wants to marry the mailman…But I won’t letter!

What font do they use for the letter noodles in Alphabet Soup?Times New Ramen.

I only know 25 letters of the alphabetI don’t know y

My therapist told me to write letters to everyone who’s hurt me then burn them.I’ve done that. Now what do I do with the letters?

What’s the longest word in the English language?Smiles. The first and last letters are a mile apart.

Which sport has four letters and starts with T?Golf.

What is the difference between a politician and a flying pig?The letter f.

What is the longest word in the english language?Smiles. The first and the last letter are a mile apart.

What is the dumbest letter in the alphabet?U.

if you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN.They get really upset.

What word starts with E and ends with E, but only has one letter in it?Envelope!

I came up with a joke where you remove the letters C and H.But I forgot the pun line.

I applied for a job to be a spy.They wanted my resume and undercover letter.

My wife found out I was cheating after she found the letters I was hiding.She got mad and said she is never playing Scrabble with me again!

What has 3 letters and starts with gas?A car.

What word starts with E and ends with E but only has one letter in it.Envelope.

What word starts with E and ends with E but only has one letter in it?Envelope.

I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.

What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?Short.

What word becomes shorter if you add two letters?Short.

What’s the difference between a bad joke and a dad joke?The first letter.

people ask me why i only type dad jokes using lower case letters.i stopped giving a shift a long time ago.

I am the worst speller.You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.

What happens when you rearrange two of the letters in the word nuclear?It’s unclear.

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.I don’t know y.

My girlfriend is furious with me because she found a bunch of hidden letters that revealed I was cheating on her.Now she refuses to play Scrabble at all.

What word starts with E and ends with E but only has one letter in it?Envelope.

I quit my job as a mailman when they handed me my first letter to deliver.I looked at it and thought, This isn’t for me

What’s a three letter word that starts with gas?Car.