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Marathon Jokes

  • I was sat in a London pub after the London Marathon wearing running gear and a tinfoil cape while strangers kept buying me drinks. Works every year!


  • Wish me luck in this years London Marathon. I made 3 hrs 12 mins and 9 seconds last time…This year I will try to beat that, but I get bored and usually turn over and watch something else!

  • My mate was the fittest person I knew. He went to the gym 7 days a week. Entered Ironman contests, he even did back to back marathons once.Then one day he went for a jog in the park and BANG!He met a girl, got married… …and now he’s a fat cunt just like the rest of us!

  • BREAKING NEWSAladdin has been stripped of his Olympic gold medal for the magic carpet marathon. Apparenty he was using performance enhancing rugs!

  • I’m never again donating money to anyone collecting for a marathon…They just take the money and run!

  • I’m watching the #LondonMarathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg…This could be interesting!

  • Wish me luck in this years #LondonMarathon. I made 3hrs 12mins and 9 seconds last year. This year I will try to beat that, but I get bored and usually turn over and watch something else!

  • I’m never again donating money to anyone collecting for a marathon.They just take the money and run.

  • I recently ran an ultra marathon in northern Sweden…I realised that I had gone way off course as soon as I crossed the Finnish line.

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