Octopus Jokes

  • Q: How does an octopus go to war? A: Armed.

  • 1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.(Kelly age 6) 2) Oysters’ balls are called pearls.(James age 6) 3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island If you don’t have sea all round you, you are incontinent.( Wayne age 7) 4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She’s not my friend no more.(Kylie age 6) 5) A dolphin breathes through an assh*le on the top of its head.(Billy age 8) 6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.(Millie age 6) 7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn’t blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans.(William age 7) 8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant?(Helen age 6) 9) I’m not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write.(Amy age 6) 10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers.(Christopher age 7)

  • How does an octopus go to war? Armed.

  • Just paid £6 for a vomiting octopus…Not bad for sick squid!

  • When a male octopus finds a mate, he rips off his happy place and throws it at the female octopus so she can inseminate herself. Then the male grows a new happy place. If that isn’t the most epic way to tell someone to go $*&# themselves, I don’t know what is!

  • How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentacles.

  • Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

  • How many times do you have to tickle an octopus to make it laugh?Ten-tickles.Of course it only has 8 of those.So the first two were test-tickles!

  • How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?Ten tickles.

  • How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?10-tickles.

  • What do you call two octopuses who look the same?Itenticle.

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