Olive Jokes

  • I used olive oil for sex last night. Popeye was furious when he found out.

  • Judging by the disproportionate size of Popeye’s forearms, I’m guessing Olive Oyl didn’t put out much.

  • Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way. Although we cannoli do so much, he will forever be a pizza history. His wife? Cheese still not over it. Just goes to show here today, gone tomato. Lets send olive our prayers to the family.

  • I drank too much over the holidays. I was at the doctor’s yesterday and gave a urine sample. It had an olive in it.

  • I’ve started using garlic in my magic act. First I start by crushing it, adding basil and some pine nuts, and then I blend them altogether with some parmesan and olive oil…Then, hey… pesto!

  • Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a Martini.The bartender says, “Olive or Twist?”

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