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Painting Jokes

  • Funeral costs are so bloody expensive these days…

    At my mother-in-law’s, after paying for the bouncy castle and pony rides, I could barely afford the face-painting!


  • “Right class,” said the teacher. “Who can make a sentence with the word ‘contagious’?”Little Johnny threw up his hand excitedly.“Yes, Johnny?”“My dad saw our neighbour painting his fence with a little brush, and said it’ll take the contageous!”

  • Did my first nude painting this morning…The neighbours weren’t happy but the front door looks great!

  • Did my first nude painting yesterday…The neighbours weren’t happy but the front door looks great!

  • Phew. I’ve just finished painting every room in the house. It took months…The Estate Agent said I should have just taken photographs!

  • Did you hear about the man going around painting peoples houses illegally?They caught him red handed.

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