Topics

Party Jokes

  • I’ll never forget the day I met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party. She was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate. They’d gone together, dressed as the number ten. I knew there and then, she was the one.


  • A new nightclub has just opened down the road and they are offering free drinks all night for just under 20 quid. So tonight I’m gonna party like it’s 19.99.

  • My mate went to a fancy dress party as a silent bee. “Very subtle,” I thought.

  • Back in the days when he was a community organizer, Obama went to a Halloween costume party. He was just wearing his street clothes, and he had his wife sitting on his shoulders. The host says to him, “Dude, this is a Halloween party! You’re supposed to be wearing a costume!” Obama replied, I am … Read more…

  • I lost my watch at a party once. An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was sexually harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman not on my watch.

  • My wives going to a fancy dress party tonight dressed as a Rastafarian. She wants me to do her hair. I’m dreading it!

  • I was at a very awkward party last night in an Igloo. I tried to break the ice, but it just made things worse.

  • A police officer accidentally arrested a judge who was dressed like a convict for a costume party. He quickly learned to never book a judge by their cover.

  • Party host: Anyone here allergic to nuts? Because I like to rest mine on the table.

  • I was at a party with some mates the other day and one of them said to me Is that the queue for the punch bowl over there?’ So I went over to the queue to find out and was told that it was actually for the buffet and that the punch had all gone. … Read more…

  • I went to a party dressed as a loaf of bread. The birds were all over me.

  • Spoiler Alert: There will be a minimum of 4 “Gangnam Styles” at every party this Halloween.

  • Sometimes I want to comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don’t wanna have to explain why I’m in your Random Party Pics 08 album at 4am.

  • Hi, I’m hosting a party with dinner & drinks on Friday 14th Feb for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can’t cum let me know.

  • You’re on Facebook on a Saturday night talking about how hard you’re partying. But there’s a problem… You’re on Facebook on a Saturday night talking about how hard you’re partying. You’re not fooling anyone.

  • At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

  • I always party like it’s 1999. Standing in a corner talking to nerds about The Matrix.

  • Getting married at 18 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9:30pm.

  • These kids today need to show a little respect to those of us, who fought for, and won, the right to party.

  • A shout out to all of the beautiful women who don’t need to dress trashy to attract a man….. But party at my place for all those who do

  • Obama supporters will party all night, especially since most of them don’t work…

  • That awkward moment when you’re supposed to be cleaning your room and you put on music and it turns into a dance party for one.

  • Speak English, kiss French, drive German, dress Italian, spend Arab, party Caribbean.

  • My first memory was 9 months before I was born. I went to this crazy party with dad and left with mom.

  • Only ghetto people go to a family party, complain about the food and STILL take 3 plates home.

  • Throw a stranger a surprise party by putting confetti inside their closed umbrella when they’re not looking!

  • If you’re at a party and people start chanting your name, you’re obligated to do anything they want you to do.

  • I guess it’s time to face the reality that I just do not want to rock and roll all night. Nor do I wish to party eva-ree day.

  • I party until the taxi with the pretty red and blue lights picks me up.

  • Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow, but fcuk me the pass the parcel was quick!

  • No thanks, Party Casino; if I wanted to gamble when watching porn, I’d start the video with the volume on full and my door wide open.

  • Happy birthday to England’s Prince George, who turns 1 today. The prince’s first birthday party was a little different. His bouncy castle was an actual castle. And the pony rides were on Camilla.

  • Taking my wife to a wife swapping party tonight… Hoping to get a PS4 in return.

  • LinkedIn Bans Prostitutes And Escorts! I wasn’t even aware this service was available on LinkedIn. Why am I always late to the party?

  • There is nothing louder than a party across the street that you weren’t invited to.

  • My neighbor knocked on my door at 2 am this morning and said, “Yo, I can’t fcking sleep.” “Well it’s your lucky day,” I said, “I’ve got a party going on in here, come in.”

  • Well, today I realized that boobytrap backwards is partyboob, I think I’ve learned all that is possible for my brain to hold….

  • I got arrested for punching this guy at a new years eve party….. when you hear an Arab counting down from ten your instincts kick in.

  • Being the life of the party doesn’t mean being the whore of the night.

  • Dearest Neighbors, Please do NOT call the police, it’s not domestic violence or a wild party. It’s football season, that’s just me screaming at my TV.

  • You’re a party girl until your looks deteriorate. Then you’re just a drug addict.

  • I got arrested for punching this guy at a new years eve party….. when you here an Arab counting down from ten your instincts kick in.

  • Relationships these days are like Birthdays….Once the Cake is Eaten, the Party’s Over…!!!

  • My new party trick.. I swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my ass tied together….. I shit you knot.”

  • I asked my mom one time why I was white and she was black. She said, ” the way I remember the party you’re lucky you don’t bark.”

  • I swear if my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

  • My new party trick.. I swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my ass tied together. I sh!t you knot.

  • No party would be complete without that creepy guy sitting in the corner.

  • Sometimes I want to comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don’t wanna have to explain why I’m in your Random Party Pics’ album at 4am.

  • How do you organise a space party?You planet.

  • What did the father say to his crying son at his Indian themed birthday party?It’s chapatti and you can cry if you want to.

  • I said to my wife, “We have been invited to a swingers party, what do you think?”“I am well up for that, sounds great!” she replied.“Great,” I said. “I’ll ring your Dad back now then and let him know we are coming!”

  • I’ll never forget the day I met my wife at a Fancy Dress party. She was stood there looking gorgeous and slim next to her fat mate. They’d gone together dressed as the number 10…I knew then, she was the one!

  • I’ve been invited to the RNLI’s Halloween party… I’m quite looking forward to it. They really know how to push the boat out!

  • I’m not buying any apples for my Halloween party this year…That’ll save me a bob or two!

  • A friend has asked if I would like to help her to arrange a surprise piñata party for her daughter…No doubt I’ll give it a bash!

  • “Of course I’ll attend your no alcohol, vegan Halloween party tonight…I’ll be dressed as the Invisible Man!”

  • I was thinking of going dressed as a band-aid for a Halloween party, but then decided against it…It would be really hard to pull off!

  • Last year if you wanted a Christmas party you had to claim it was a work meeting…This year if you want to have a work meeting you have to claim it’s a Christmas party…Everyone clear?

  • My nephew fell asleep at a recent house party we had, so for a laugh I decided to shave his eyebrows off and draw a cock on his forehead…My sister went mad when she looked in his pram!

  • I think it would be more embarrassing for Boris Johnson if he hadn’t attended a party at his own house!

  • All this talk of a bring your own booze party is nonsense…There’s no way they would have bought their own booze. Has anyone checked their expense claims?

  • Had a load of mates round for a party and someone threw up in the kitchen sink…Nobody wants to own up to it so I guess I’m going to have to get the friends sick detective round!

  • 9 months before I was born, I went to a party with my dad and left with my mum!

  • I’ll never forget the day I met my wife at a fancy dress party. She was stood there looking gorgeous and slim next to her fat mate. They’d gone together dressed as the number 10…I knew then, she was the one!

  • My daft friend asked me if I wanted to come to her dog’s birthday party on Saturday. Weirdo!My cat gets married then anyway!

  • I went to a fancy dress party in Birmingham where the theme was ‘spice’.I went as a chilli but everyone else was an astronaut!

  • My girlfriend went to a fancy dress party dressed as a storage heater… I thought she looked radiating!

  • Paleontologists are having a big party to celebrate unearthing the largest ever dinosaur tibia…It’s going to be quite a shindig!

  • The wife was all dressed as a pedal bin for the fancy dress party when it was cancelled at the last minute..Boy did she flip her lid!

  • I went to a fancy dress party last night dressed as a screwdriver…Turned a few heads!

  • I went to a spice themed fancy dress party in the West Midlands dressed as a chilli…Everyone else was dressed as astronauts!

  • Today was my son’s fourth birthday party. I didn’t recognise him at first…I’d never seen him be four!

  • So I went to a fancy dress party last night dressed as a fish. But turns out my mate lied to me and it wasn’t fancy dress at all…I was done up like a kipper!

  • My mate met his fiancé at a Hot Chocolate themed buffet party…It started with a quiche!

  • I was at a party last night and the DJ played, “Sit Down.”So we all sat down!He then played, “Jump Around.”So we all jumped around!Then he put on, “Come On Eileen.”I got thrown out!

  • I went to a fancy dress party last night where everyone had to dress up as an iced lolly…It was fab!

  • Got invited to a Cowboys and Indians fancy dress party…Really don’t want to go, but I will put a brave face on!

  • A group of road workers disappeared last weekend. The Police sent out a search party, no joy…But I’m happy to tell you they resurfaced this morning!

  • When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a house warming party…Now I’m homeless!

  • I was about to go to a fancy dress party as a can of deodorant. My wife stopped me and said, “Are you Sure?”

  • I went to a porn star reunion party today. It was nice to come across some familiar faces!

  • What’s worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face?Finding out it was traced!

  • I threw a a party for all the workers who helped build my house. The door guy showed up late…But he really knew how to make an entrance!

  • I went to a fancy dress party last night dressed as a fish, but turns out my mate lied to me and it wasn’t fancy dress at all…I was done up like a kipper!

  • My wife had a right go at me when I went to the fancy dress party as a Jelly Baby. I was like, “Alright love don’t bite my head off!”

  • Went to a Halloween party at the pub last night, but took ages to get served as they only had a skeleton staff working!#Halloween

  • I believe that if life gives you lemons,you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party

  • What do beekeepers put in their party bags?Freebees.

  • What do cannibals serve at the beginning of dinner party?handshakes.

  • Archaeologists are having a party to celebrate unearthing the largest ever dinosaur tibia.It’s going to be quite the shindig.

  • How do you organise a space party?Planet.,

  • Who hides in the bathroom at parties?The party-pooper.

  • Bill Gates meets Arnold Schwarzenneger at a party and asks him if he’s upgraded to Windows 10 yet? Big Arnie replies…….“Ah still love Vista Baby…..”

  • When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.Now I’m homeless.

  • Why is it cheaper to throw a party in a haunted house?Because the ghosts will bring the boos.

  • I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party.It was a twerk-place injury.

  • If the scientists throw a party, the chemists bring the booze, the engineer sets up a beer pong table, and the botanist brings the weed. What does the astronomer do?Planet.

  • Have you heard about the political party that’s using really good weed to promote their political views and opinions?It’s propaganja.

  • When I moved into my igloo, my friends threw me a house warming party.Now I’m homeless.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *