Penny Jokes

  • I don’t understand it, my new book How to Overcome Your Addiction to Shoplifting’ is sold out everywhere, yet I’ve not made a penny.

  • A penny for your thoughts, Five bucks if they’re naughty.

  • I found a penny today and it reminded me of my ex…worthless and in everybody’s pants.

  • If I had a penny for every time you made me feel worthless; I’d be worth something by now.

  • Copper wire was invented by two Jews fighting over a penny.

  • If I had a penny for every time someone asked me to look after their dog, I’d have a pound!

  • My mate went to see a psychic last week who told him he would be coming into money…And last night he shagged a girl called Penny…How spooky is that!

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