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Roof Jokes

  • Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.


  • I started a yacht making business in my attic; sails are going through the roof.

  • I just swapped our bed for a trampoline. My wife hit the roof.

  • Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married… The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was excellent.

  • It was raining so much last night that my aviary roof is now leaking…It’s starting to get on my Tits!

  • I’ve started a business selling prayer mats which are also trampolines…Prophets are going through the roof!

  • I once fell off the roof at IKEA and landed on its sign…I was stuck in A & E for ages!

  • I’ve just read that if you take your bike to work it’s so much better for the environment…So fuck it, tomorrow that’s what I’m going to do. Afterall I don’t use the roof-rack for anything else!

  • Amazingly I got the shed roofing job without an interview… They’ve no idea how I felt!

  • BREAKING: Strong winds have blown the roof off our local cheese factory…There’s de brie everywhere!

  • Storm Arwen has blown the roof off our local cheese factory…There’s de brie everywhere!

  • A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night…oof

  • I’ve just read that taking your bike to work everyday is good for the environment, so I thought, ‘Oh well, why not?’It’s not like I’m using the roof rack for anything else anyway!

  • Storm Eunice has blown the roof off our local cheese factory…There’s de brie everywhere! #StormEunice

  • Storm Eunice has blown off 25% of my roof…Oof!#StormEunice

  • The roof of the shed was damaged in the gales but my kind neighbour gave me a waterproof cover to use until I could repair it…Ta Pauline!#StormFranklin

  • If you think gas and electric prices are expensive, have you seen chimneys?They’re through the roof!

  • I’ve just read that taking your bike to work everyday is good for the environment, so I thought oh well, why not?It’s not like I’m using the roof rack for anything else anyway!

  • Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

  • I’ve started a boat building business in my attic……sails are going through the roof.

  • I have finished childproofing my home but I didn’t do a good job.My kids are still able to get in the house.

  • My wife just found out I replaced her water bed with a trampoline.She hit the roof.

  • My mum just found out I replaced her bed with a trampoline.She hit the roof.

  • A wizard asked me to proof read one of his scrolls last week…Actually it was more of a Spell Check.

  • My Wizard friend asked me to proof read one of his scrolls the other day…Well, it was more of a spell check actually.

  • A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night.oof.

  • What do you call a bulletproof Irishman?Rick O’Shea.

  • You think gas prices are expensive, have you seen Chimneys?They’re through the roof.

  • When I found out my toaster wasn’t waterproof….I was shocked.

  • The storm blew away 25% of my roof last night.Oof!

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