When I was a child, my dad tried to force-feed me. After a while, my mum said, “Just use a fcuking spoon, Mike. You’re not a Jedi.”
- Reese Whitherspoon may have lost her good girl image but she’s still got her overinflated self worth…
- The wife was in the kitchen cooking me bacon and eggs when I suddenly heard a loud thud. Running in I found her collapsed on the floor not breathing. I was in a blind frenzy, I had no idea what to do…Then I remembered, Wetherspoons do an alll day breakfast for just £3.99!
- Just bumped into an old mate of mine today.I said, “What are you doing these days?”He said, “I prepare meals for the homeless, drug addicts, piss heads and down and outs.”I said, “Oh, are you working for the Salvation Army?”He said, “No. Wetherspoons!”
- Just woke up to find a spoon in my mouth, a tea bag in my left eye and milk in my right eye…I’m getting sick of being treated like a mug!