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Tank Jokes

  • Filled the tank up with petrol today. Now all the fish are dead.


  • A new company entered the very competitive business of pumping septic tanks. To promote their new business, they held a caption contest. The winning caption would be posted on all their trucks and the winner would receive five free pump-outs, one every other year for ten years, worth about $3,000.00. The winning caption? “We are … Read more…

  • My car doubles in value when I fill my gas tank up.

  • After filling up my gas tank this morning before work, I realized that I didn’t want to eat for the

  • If you are the winner of Friday’s $500 million Mega Millions jackpot can receive the winnings in one lump sum, yearly installments, or one tank of gas.

  • After filling up my gas tank this morning before work, I realized that I didn’t want to eat for the rest of the week anyways.

  • Attention all employees. Asst. Morgon was found in the dumpster this morning, murdered and the oxygen tank missing.

  • I took my son to see Santa at the shopping centre this morning. It was a bit disappointing really, because he stank of booze and cigarettes…Goodness knows what Santa thought of him!

  • Money saving tipDiesel £1.68 per litre £90 to fill the tank Drive off and get a court fine 6 weeks later £50Total saving £40. Thank me later!

  • So I’ve got a 1998 Ford Fiesta with a full tank of petrol…Looking to swap for a 4 bed detached house!

  • A recent survey says that the first car you drive is as memorable as your first kiss…This is very true. I still remember mine, an old banger that stank of piss. Can’t think what the car was though!

  • Just got of a full tank of petrol for £30…In my lawnmower!

  • Just filled the tank with diesel…The goldfish are now dead!

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