Toast Jokes

I was playing with my new toaster in the bathtub today when I read the warning label and it said not to. I was shocked.

Whenever I go to Subway, when they ask if I would like my sandwich toasted, I say yes & then I raise my cup of Coke & say, “To my sandwich!”

How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling

Toaster Settings: 1) I do nothing. 2) I do nothing. 3) I SET THE BREAD ON FIRE!

Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.

My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.

I was a bit afraid of making breakfast this Halloween morning but…I ain’t afraid of no toast!

My girlfriend’s parents are coming for Sunday dinner. I’m going to make a nice joint…Then when I’ve smoked that, I’ll cook them beans on toast!

Went to a Cannibal wedding on Saturday. It was all going well…Until they decided to toast the Bride and Groom!

Just sneezed all over my toast…I can’t believe it… snot butter!

2 slices of bread got married…It was going so well, until the guests toasted the bride and groom!

What does a copier machine have on its toast in the morning?Paper jam.

What do cars spread on their toast?Traffic jam.

And the lord said unto John “come forth and you shall have eternal life”But John came fifth and won a toaster.

Someone interrupted my wedding just to give a speech about what he had for breakfast:– taps glass– toast

Did you hear about the guy that always got angry when he was out of bread for breakfast?He was lack-toast intolerant.

The lord said to John, “Come forth and you shall receive eternal life.”But John came fifth, and received a toaster.

When I found out my toaster wasn’t waterproof….I was shocked.

What do you call someone who’s allergic to burnt bread?Black-toast intolerant.

And God said to John: “Come forth and receive eternal life”.But he came fifth and won a toaster.