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Toast Jokes

  • Just came back from the Zoo and saw a slice of toast in one of the enclosures. It was bread in captivity.


  • I was playing with my new toaster in the bathtub today when I read the warning label and it said not to. I was shocked.

  • Whenever I go to Subway, when they ask if I would like my sandwich toasted, I say yes & then I raise my cup of Coke & say, “To my sandwich!”

  • How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling

  • Toaster Settings: 1) I do nothing. 2) I do nothing. 3) I SET THE BREAD ON FIRE!

  • Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.

  • My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

  • Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.

  • I was a bit afraid of making breakfast this Halloween morning but…I ain’t afraid of no toast!

  • My girlfriend’s parents are coming for Sunday dinner. I’m going to make a nice joint…Then when I’ve smoked that, I’ll cook them beans on toast!

  • Went to a Cannibal wedding on Saturday. It was all going well…Until they decided to toast the Bride and Groom!

  • Just sneezed all over my toast…I can’t believe it… snot butter!

  • 2 slices of bread got married…It was going so well, until the guests toasted the bride and groom!

  • What does a copier machine have on its toast in the morning?Paper jam.

  • What do cars spread on their toast?Traffic jam.

  • And the lord said unto John “come forth and you shall have eternal life”But John came fifth and won a toaster.

  • Someone interrupted my wedding just to give a speech about what he had for breakfast:– taps glass– toast

  • Did you hear about the guy that always got angry when he was out of bread for breakfast?He was lack-toast intolerant.

  • The lord said to John, “Come forth and you shall receive eternal life.”But John came fifth, and received a toaster.

  • When I found out my toaster wasn’t waterproof….I was shocked.

  • What do you call someone who’s allergic to burnt bread?Black-toast intolerant.

  • And God said to John: “Come forth and receive eternal life”.But he came fifth and won a toaster.

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