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Upset Jokes

  • I just got fired from my job at the bakery, which is upsetting cause I really kneaded the dough.


  • My wife was upset that I never bought her flowers. I didn’t even know she sold flowers.

  • My Tinder bio states I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I’m paid to travel. My dates seem upset when I tell them I’m a bus driver.

  • My wife came back from the doctors really upset today.She sobbed, “He told me we can’t have any sex for two weeks!”I said, “How come?” looking really concerned.She replied, “Because he’s going on holiday tonight!”

  • I’m pretty upset, I burned my Hawaiian pizza today…I should have put it on aloha temperature!

  • For the past 25 years I’ve had a Valentine’s card from a secret admirer. I was upset I didn’t get one this year…First my Nan dies, now this!

  • My wife just left me. She says my life revolves around football and she’s sick of it…I’m quite upset. We were together for 7 seasons!

  • This morning my neighbour complained that I invade his personal space…I was very upset it and it completely ruined our bath!

  • Whenever my wife is upset I let her color in my black and white tattoos.She just really needed a shoulder to crayon.

  • My wife just left me. She says life revolves around football and she’s sick of it.I’m quite upset. We were together for 7 seasons.

  • Someone stole all my lamps. You’d think I’d be upset……but I’m actually delighted.

  • I’m pretty upset, I burned my Hawaiian pizza today.I should have put it in aloha temperature.

  • if you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN.They get really upset.

  • My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I’m paid to travel.My dates are always upset when I tell them I’m a bus driver.

  • My wife is super upset at our neighbour who happens to enjoy suntanning in her backyard naked.Personally though, I’m on the fence.

  • My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I’m paid to travel.My dates are always upset when I tell them I’m a bus driver.

  • Whenever my wife is upset I let her color in my black and white tattoos.Sometimes she just really needs a shoulder to crayon.

  • A fortune-teller told me that in 10-15 years, I would suffer the most terrible heartbreak any man has ever faced. I was so upset over learning this.I decided to cheer myself up — I adopted a puppy, and I’ve never been happier!

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