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Michael Jackson jokes to make you say heehee

Michael Jackson jokes never fail to make you laugh. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they make you say ‘ooft’, and other times they simply leave you in shock. Whether you were a fan of his or you’re pleased to no longer hear his music, here are our selection of the best Michael Jackson jokes to make you go ‘heehee’!

Warning: these jokes are NSFW!

Did you hear about Michael Jackson’s latest record?

“Feel the World.”

All Michael Jacksons future dates have been cancelled…

…including those with Josh aged 5 and Ryan aged 11

Did you hear about Michael Jackson’s latest song?

“Don’t let your son go down on me.”

Who did Michael Jackson consider a Perfect “10″?

Two 5 year olds.

What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

“The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!”

What did Michael Jackson call a circumcision?

Foreplay.

Michael Jackson’s girlfriend is said to be devastated by his passing…

She commented: “First my parents left me in Portugal and now this.”

What did Michael Jackson say to Lorena Bobbit?

“SILLY Bobbit! Dicks are for KIDS!”

Why did Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?

Because there are twenty of them.

Why did Michael Jackson get food poisoning?

He ate a nine year old wiener!

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney films?

Disney films can still touch kids.

What’s the worst stain to try to remove from a little boy’s underpants?

Michael Jackson’s makeup.

What do Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan have in common?

They both play ball in the Minor League.

Why did Michael like children so much?

He knew how they felt.

Why’s Michael trying out for the NBA?

He’s a crack shooter.

Since Michael Jackson was 90% plastic…

…they decided to melt him down and turn him into Lego blocks so the kids can play with him for a change.

What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common?

They both come on little white crackers.

What did Michael Jackson say when he saw a prostitute on the corner?

I’d rather “Beat It”.

Why did Michael Jackson call Boys to Men?

Because he tought it was a delivery service!

How do you know when it’s Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand

What do Michael Jackson and Walmart have in common?

They both have small boys pants at half off!

What do Michael Jackson and Walmart have in common?

They both wait 3 months after the child is born to give piercings.

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is white, plastic and dangerous for children. You put groceries in the other.

What do Michael’s rear and an LA jail have in common?

Both hold the juice.

Why are Michael Jackson’s pants so small?

Because they aren’t his!

What did the lady say to Micheal Jackson at the Beach?

Get out of my sun!

Have you heard about Micheal Jackson’s new book?

It’s called the in’s and outs of child rearing

What do Michael Jackson and Xbox’s have in common?

They’re both plastic and little boys turn them on.

Did you hear about the new McDonalds McJackson sandwich?

It’s a 35 year old slab of meat between two 12 year old buns.

What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?

They’re both 30 year old meat between 10 year old buns!

Phew. Thank god that’s over. Need more jokes in your life? Check out our NSFW seamen jokes today.

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