And that we all get tired of hearing
1. You have short hair.
So your hair makes your sexuality? And Jesus had long hair so he was probably gay too, right?
2. You are ugly.
Otherwise you wouldn’t be a lesbian.
3. You never wear skirts/dresses.
4. You never wear high heels.
Not wanting to break your ankles and have blisters all over your feet is definitely a very lesbian thing. You could replace the word “lesbian” by “reasonable” here too.
5. You play softball.
Well yeah, softball girls are hot! And you get to shower with all the hot chicks. Smart move actually.
6. You don’t dance.
…. cause you are generally unsexy and unattractive of course otherwise you wouldn’t be a Lesbian! Sounds logical doesn’t it.
7. You have a cat.
And Lesbians are the only human beings who own cats.
8. You hate men because of your father.
Or maybe you didn’t even have a father, maybe you had two moms – so you were basically doomed to go down the same path.
9. You are lesbian because you only had bad relationships with men.
And clearly everything about your sexuality goes back to men. NOT.
10. You are the butch or femme part in the relationship.
So there has to be a man and a woman in the relationship right?
11. You always use a dildo/strap on.
Cause every girl needs something inside of her to get an orgasm! – Joke of the day
12. You never wear make up.
You are ugly and you don’t even try to change it.
13. Ellen DeGeneres is your favorite celebrity.
But seriously, what kinda person are you if you don’t love Ellen???
14. You WANT to be “different”.
And there was definitely one point in time where you made the conscious and simple decision to be a lesbian.
15. It’s just a phase.
Being lesbian is just a trend-kinda-thing, just as spiked hair in the 90s and shoulder pads in the 80s.
16. You just haven’t found the right guy yet.
But as soon as you’ll find the right guy, the phase of being a lesbian is gonna be over!
17. You were a tomboy as a kid.
One could always tell that you are not normal.
18. You are lesbian to get men’s attraction.
You actually just want to turn the guys on by being lesbian. Cause – again – whatever you do, it’s due to men.
19. The label “lesbian” describes your sexuality completely.
Because you like to be put into a box. With a name. And that describes your entire identity.
20. You hate penisses.
Cause you hate everything about men, you are allergic to men and you can’t have a normal conversation with a men, just cause you hate them all!
21. Your first lesbian crush was Xena.
22. You prefer guy movies.
And you hate twilight.
23. You are going to hell.
God left you a while ago. He messed something up when he created you. You are basically the definition of a sinner.
24. You are not normal.
Something in your development must have gone horribly wrong. Or something is off with your genes. Your brain maybe? You are weird.
25. Being lesbian is not even a real thing.
Your sexuality can not even be taken seriously.
26. You try to turn every straight woman into a lesbian.
And your success rate is pretty high cause lesbians seem to be all over the place now.
27. You can’t show that you are in a lesbian relationship in public.
… that is offensive to all the normal people.
28. If you are in a relationship with a male looking girl you might as well date a guy.
NO words for that.
29. You are attrackted to every single woman that walks across your way.
And of course you are hitting on all of them. You want to turn everyone into a lesbian too, remember?
30. You could eat all day.
31. All your friends are homosexual.
And if not, you’ll turn all the girls into lesbians.
32. You frequently wear dungarees.
33. You don’t wear lingerie.
34. You love flanel
35. You do not feel attracted to Ryan Gossling.
36. You don’t wear a bra. Ever.
You don’t even have titties.
37. You drive a pick up truck/Subaru.
38. You grow a beard.
And generally enjoy to grow hair, just not on your head, cause of course you have a short hair cut.
39. You know how to use tools.
You are probably even an engineer or something.
40. You only go to gay bars.
And you live in the gay district. And you only buy in gay grocery stores. And you can only get a hair cut from a gay hairstylist. And of course you can only eat in gay restaurants.
41. The L word is basically about your life.
42. You have bro talks with all of your male friends.
43. You’ve been told that you look like a lesbian.
44. You are an activist.
Because you are in a minority and you fight for your rights and that is ridiculous.
45. You should not get married to the person you love.
46. Lesbian sex is not real sex.
47. Lesbian porn is cool though.
48. You look like a man, you act like a man.
You have a deep voice. You like beer. You drive a truck. Of course you have a short hair cut and grow a beard. And you are into girls… So you’d rather be a man. Obviously?!
49. Your homosexual love is not worth as much as straight love.
WAIT WHAT?! LOVE IS LOVE PEOPLE.
50. You’ve been called a “dyke”.
Be proud of it!
51. Threesomes are your thing.
Cause – again – how could you have good and real sex without a dick??
52. Your sexuality is unnatural.
Is it really???
53. You do not understand the principles of reproduction and as an homo you can’t be trusted with a child.
Also you will clearly infect every child with your homosexuality. Because it’s like a decease. Infectious.
54. You shouldn’t have the same rights as normal people.